Marriage is Good for Your Health?
I think it is safe to say that marriage can improve the quality of one’s life, to a degree.
According to the 2010 article, Getting married benefits you physically and mentally. The statistics on what tying the knot can do for your health are remarkable, Dr Haltzman compares the mortality rates of married and unmarried women aged 45 stating, Mortality rates are 50 percent higher for unmarried women.
With stats like that no wonder so many desire marriage. Although, marriage can be beneficial to your health marrying the wrong person can do you harm as well as dating the wrong person.
Because dating often leads to marriage I felt it important to start off with some marriage statistics.
Would You Rather…?
Okay, so after dropping that enormous bomb in the introduction to this blog post, how many of my single sisters of faith felt fear strike your chest?
It’s probably not the kind of news you want to hear especially if you are having a difficult time dating. But let me ask you this, would you rather be single and healthy, or married and sick?
You see that statistic is slightly flawed, perhaps biased or maybe even too general. It suggests that married women are healthier while unmarried women are not. It leaves out that many women are in unhealthy marriages while there are single women that are fairing quite well.
Whenever you are in a relationship, i.e. marriage that sends you into a depression it is detrimental to your health both mentally and spiritually.
Therefore my single Christian sisters, I suggest you take that statistic with a grain of salt and stay encouraged in your single-hood. Don't covet marriage out of desperation or loneliness. You can still find contentment while you wait for your husband.
My point is marriage can send you to an early grave if you marry the wrong person. There are plenty of domestic abuse statistics that can back that up.
Don’t rush into marriage due to statistics generalizing married women are healthy-happy women. That isn’t always the case.
Ladies, Don’t Settle
As a whole in Western society we have the freedom to date whom we choose. If a man isn’t up to par, we just move on to the next. We even date men that aren’t approved by our family and or friends bearing the consequences.
So, with all this freedom why not date someone who is good for you? Why limit your preferences to men who will only hurt and or take advantage of you in the long run?
If marriage is your ultimate goal, stop wasting your time dating ungodly men. Remember any one of us can marry, but at what cost to our health, happiness, and spiritual growth?
If you haven’t already you should read my blog post: Women Don’t Cast Your Pearls Before Swine. It coincides with this post and brings up additional aspects of dating.
Bottom line, ladies don’t settle. All this brings me to the #1 important question you should ask the man you plan to date. Keep reading.
The #1 Most Important Test Question Every Woman of Faith Should Ask Before a Date
My Sisters in Christ, before you even consider going on a date with a man especially, if you have desires for marriage it is imperative that you ask him, where does God fit into your life?
So there you have it. It’s as simple as that, well kind of.
You see, if you ask a close-ended question like, are you a Godly man then a lukewarm Christian can simply respond, yes. I fell victim to this closed-ended answer years ago when dating and that relationship nearly destroyed my spiritual walk.
But if you ask the open-ended question, where does God fit into your life a lukewarm Christian may stumble in his response because it challenges him to elaborate on his present relationship with God or lack thereof on the spot.
The moment he begins to get defensive, lost for words, perplexed, agitated, confused, uncomfortable, dismissive, or asks you to clarify the question then presumedly he is one of two things:
a lukewarm believer (which is worse)
At this point it's safe to say the two of you are not equally yoked and it's best to move on. Don't even contemplate dating or even marrying this man. Cancel the date if already set. You're asking to partake in a future spiritual battle if you move forward.
I wrote a blog post titled, The Dangers of Unequally Yoked Relationships which is my #1 most read and and shared blog post.
The popularity of that post tells me there are a lot of women who are struggling in their present relationship and want guidance on what to do. And can I blame them? I wish I had sound, Christian dating advice before I got myself involved in unequally yoked relationships.
Check out my video: Setting Boundaries While Dating for more dating tips.
A man after God's own heart
When a man of God answers that most important date question there should be a sense of enthusiasm behind his response. His eagerness to explain his love for the Father and how passionate he is about growing closer to the Lord is a great sign.
He may even want to share his testimony on how he came to Christ. A man after God's own heart understands that going to church or reading the bible is just a small part of making God first in his life.
And when he had removed him, he raised up unto them David to be their king; to whom also he gave testimony, and said, I have found David the son of Jesse, a man after mine own heart, which shall fulfil all my will.
Actually, living a Godly lifestyle and demonstrating the fruits of the spirit in obedience plays a BIG role in his devotion to Lord. These are outward characteristics he should already be displaying before you go on your first date.
So basically, his response to your test question should be backed up by his lifestyle choices and spiritual understanding.
This is why the closed ended question, are you a godly man doesn't work. What is your date actually saying yes to? What does he consider a godly man?
Trust me, a worldly man's perspective of a godly man is going to be in sharp contrast to a man who is actually saved. This is why it's important to be specific and ask where does God fit into your life? This question demands an explanation.
The better date
I'm not saying that a man who answers the test question perfectly won't have flaws because we all have our issues. But, a man who demonstrates he's after God's own heart is a much better date and possibly future husband than one who doesn't know God at all.
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Have you ever been sold snake oil by a date who claimed to be a man of God? Please share your story in the comments.