Motherhood is a Gift From God
Motherhood is a beautiful gift from God and should not be taken for granted. God has blessed us mothers to be temporary stewards over His children – actually our children do not belong to us but to God.
With that out of the way most mothers do not set out to become poor examples to their children. The majority try to be the best mothers they can be.
Motherhood can be a constant struggle and there's no denying that. This is why we fail from time to time in the rearing of our children.
Regardless of our present circumstance we are to be godly examples to our babies.
But did you know how well you treat and respect your husband impacts the kind of example you set before your children? Is it possible to not love and respect your husband, but still be an awesome mother? This is an important question to ask if you're struggling in your marriage.
Wives Love Your Husbands
As obvious as this sounds, wives we are to love our husbands. This is spoken about in the bible:
Titus 2: 3-5
...3The aged women likewise, that they be in behaviour as becometh holiness, not false accusers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things; 4That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children, 5To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed.
God didn't mince words when He gave instructions on how to be a godly woman, wife, and or mother. So, why do we think it's okay to show disrespect and lack of love towards our husband?
There are no excuses for it even if our husband treats us unloving. By showing unconditional love a new seed may be planted within his heart and his ways can change for the better:
1 Peter 3:1
1Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands; that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives;
It doesn't matter what he may have or may not have done to you. We are to show love towards our husband regardless just as the Lord loves us despite our faults. It's actually the second most important commandment given to us in the New Testament:
37Jesus said unto him, Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind. 38This is the first and great commandment. 39And the second is like unto it, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself. 40On these two commandments hang all the law and the prophets.
Even if you are no longer in a romantic relationship with the father of your children, you are required by God's commandment to love him anyway. The bible teaches us to love our enemies and that doesn't exclude those who may have hurt us to our core and especially, the father of our children.
Being a Great Mom Doesn't Mean You're Perfect
I'm writing this blog post because the very thing I encourage you wives to do I failed at last week. For those who may or may not know I'm currently pregnant and due August 9th with our first born.
My husband and I are temporarily living in two different states. A new business opportunity caused us to be separated. Thankfully, after our baby girl is born I will be relocating to be with my husband.
Having him not here with me has been difficult and being as far along pregnant as I am doesn't help the situation. Long distance marriages are tough and face timing and talking on the phone just isn't the same. I don't want to be separated during one of the most precious and blessed times in our marriage.
Unfortunately, I allowed the stress to get the best of me.
I failed miserably
I know that I'm pregnant and hormones are racing and I'm overwhelmed with having to move yet again, but the irritability I had towards my husband last week was ungodly. I became the contentious wife Proverbs 27:15 warns us about.
My poor, loving, hardworking, caring husband got it handed to him last week by his pregnant wife. God knew exactly who I needed to marry because I don't know what man would have put up with my shenanigans.
By the end of the week I felt convicted. I couldn't continue on like this. I repented to the Lord and apologized to my husband for the way he was unfairly treated. That's when I had an epiphany.
My desire to be a great mother is strong and apparent, but how could I accomplish that if I didn't show unconditional love towards the man who helped create my daughter, my husband?
Mothers We Are To Be Examples Of Christ
Great mothers are those who are walking examples of Christ. The way I treat my husband is going to make me either a poor example or great example for our daughter. If I treat my husband unloving, our daughter will learn that it's okay to hurt the ones she cares about.
How can I treat the provider of our household as a second class citizen in front of our daughter? That is beyond disrespectful. It's liken to treating Jesus Christ who paved the way for your salvation as a nobody or scum. Not to say I'm comparing my husband to Jeshua, but you get the point.
My desire is to be a great mother so I need to make a few changes before our babygirl arrives.
God expects order in the household
I've seen it time and time again. A mother who is contentious with her husband but showers her children with love. She is out of order. This might be hard to accept but there is a hierarchy within the Christian family household:
God is the head of Christ; Christ is the head of husband; Husband the head of wife; Children fall under BOTH parent's authority (Ephesians 5:23).
As you can see the wife is to love and honor her husband ahead of the children. This is the proper order, but society has mangled up what God ordained as the perfect family structure.
Loving your husband first doesn't mean you love your children any less, it just means that you don't place your children on pedestals which is often the case in a lot of families. Remember your duty is to be a wife first then mother second.
Sadly, we often see women leading households resulting in children not respecting their father and burned out mothers trying to do and be everything.
An additional consequence for this are chaotic homes with a husband too passive to take the reign as head of the family because the wife took the lead. Why should he even bother at that point?
Yes, men have an important responsibility in upholding the biblical family structure, but this post is speaking directly to you ladies.
Children are very observant
Even when you think they're not paying attention children are watching and listening. By treating my husband with kindness, respect, unconditional love, and forgiveness our daughter will come to understand how to treat and love others.
Showing submission to my husband teaches her to be submissive to God. When she is accustomed to being submissive to God it will become second nature for her to be submissive to her future husband.
Actions do speak louder than words and children know when we are being hypocrites. It's important that I demonstrate the characteristics of Christ each and everyday. I don't want our daughter following the poor examples the world has made for our children.
Fruits of the Spirit
When our daughter walks into our home my desire is for her to enter an atmosphere filled with love, peace, and joy. This can only happen if the fruits of the spirit are being manifested inside our home. As homemaker this starts with me. I set the tone for the atmosphere.
Children are often the reflection of their parents and generally emulate what they do. Keeping Christ the center of my life and producing good fruits shows love towards not only my husband, but our daughter. This is what makes moms great. It's not the material things, having Superwoman powers, or allowing our kids to walk over us, it's showing the love of Christ towards our husbands.
–– Call to Action ––
What part of this post resinated with you the most? I would love to hear in the comments below.