Tired of Playing Games
How many times have you proclaimed your dying love to someone only to realize much later in the relationship it was never true love to start with? What were the consequences of your disillusion? To how many men have you said I love you only to break-up with them later down the road? Ask yourself were you in love or simply infatuated?
If you’re tired of playing the love versus infatuation game and want some clarity then proceed with my post. If not, then this post may not be your cup of tea. And that’s okay because I have more posts coming I know you’ll enjoy.
Love Never Contradicts God’s Word
Somehow, someway we’ve walked away from the biblical understanding of love relationships and created something that fits a worldly view. Anything that reinforces, encourages or validates a worldly view is not beneficial to our relationship with God nor our love interest.
The propaganda of what the world deems as love regarding relationships couldn’t be further from the truth and is a deception.
When you are in a love relationship the overall relationship itself should never contradict God’s word. In fact, the love relationship should produce fruits that parallel Yahweh’s divine word. When people on the outside observe your relationship there should be little doubt that it is securely planted in the Lord’s foundation.
There are many examples of love throughout the bible and its characteristics. I will list a few important ones to contemplate:
- When you love someone you are concerned about their salvation and spiritual walk with God
- You practice the fruits of the spirit: love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faithfulness, meekness, temperance (Galations 5:22-23)
- The over all well being of your interest is important to you
- You give from the heart rather than give with the expectation of receiving (Acts 20:35)
- You receive confirmation from God and not just your heart that you are indeed in love and not in lust or infatuation
Warning signs it maybe infatuation
Okay, have you ever fallen head of over heals in love with someone then after while you regret all the time, emotions, and energy spent nurturing the relationship?
There’s a possibility that what you thought to be love was really infatuation. If this is your experience please, don't feel ashamed it has happened to the best of us to include myself a number of times.
When you are in a true love relationship there are no regrets when expressing your love towards the other person. Your desire to love that person grows stronger. It does not wither away like a dying flower. The sacrifices and time invested into developing the relationship are not in vain — every bit of it is worth it because the relationship and the person are both worth it to you.
14 Warning Signs:
- You have immediate feelings of lust upon first meeting him
- The love you show towards him fluctuates or is indifferent
- You jumped into the relationship to feel a void
- The thrill and excitement of being with him was brief
- You're having second thoughts about the relationship early on
- You keep him at a distance unwilling to let him into your life/world
- You were interested in him only to reap worldly or materialistic benefits
- You started this relationship while still in another
- You treat him as a trophy or prized possession — something conquered
- You don't make a real effort to grow the relationship
- You have a pattern of being hot about the relationship one day and cold the next day
- You've planned out your entire life with him on the first date
- You've fallen in love too fast without seeking God first
- You’ve become obsessed with him (Watch My Video: Relationship Obsession)
This in not an exhaustive list, but if two or more of these examples fit your situation it may be time to seek God, which is always a wise thing to do and re-evaluate.
1 Corinthians 6:18-20 KJV
18 Flee fornication. Every sin that a man doeth is without the body; but he that committeth fornication sinneth against his own body. 19 What? know ye not that your body is the temple of the Holy Ghost which is in you, which ye have of God, and ye are not your own? 20 For ye are bought with a price: therefore glorify God in your body, and in your spirit, which are God's.
Let's address a few problems with society as a whole. Society notoriously equates premarital sex with whom ever with making love –we’ve seen this a dozen times in movies, television, and now social media.
God has always ordained sex within a covenant marriage, not outside of it. Our disobedience has brought about disease, children born out of wedlock and broken homes, heartache, and even murder.
Examples of false love
- Giving into a person’s desires and wants without discretion is considered loving a person by societal standards.
- Watching him live in sin because you adhere to one of the most misunderstood scriptures, thou shall not judge is showing love as well according to worldly views.
Take a moment to review the two examples I just gave. What two things do they all have in common? Deception and negative consequences for both parties involved.
If this is the epitome of a love relationship, then why does God speak against these behaviors (Galatians 5:16-26)?
I’m infatuated, now what?
There is hope. If you are suffering from infatuation it’s best to seek God first for help. Confiding to someone you trust about your problem is great too if and only if they are wise in the subject matter.
This stronghold can be difficult to break if you do it alone. It almost has a spirit-like quality about it or soul tie and you want to make sure you fully break free from it.
No way am I saying that you can’t salvage a relationship that starts off as infatuation, but there is a lot to consider before moving forward.
Breaking free may not happen over night and you should be strengthened in the Lord during this time. Get girded up in your word and prayer. It’s easy to slip back into the familiarity of falling in and out of love with people because we all want to be loved by someone or at least some thing. This isn’t real love, it’s infatuation and there are no lasting benefits for it.
Let’s not forget the person you may be hurting for allowing this to continue. I’ll talk more about this next.
What are the Consequences of Ignoring the Difference Between Love & Infatuation?
While some may be indifferent about love versus infatuation, I want to express that it does matter. When you are in a true love relationship you are abiding in the Lord which not only pleases Him, but glorifies Him.
You become a testament for others to emulate which helps to grow and strengthen their spiritual walk and understanding of real love.
You help break the cycle of strongholds found within many dysfunctional families that do not currently demonstrate the love of Jesus Christ.
Entertaining infatuation contributes to heartache, confusion, mixed emotions, and sometimes payback, and or revenge. It perpetuates society’s misconception of love relationships which undermines its true value.
I want to add that infatuation isn’t a woman thing, but men are often guilty of it too. The sooner you recognize the warning signs of infatuation the sooner you can move onto to a real, satisfying, nurturing, Godly love relationship. Who wouldn’t want that?
–– Call to Action ––
How important do you believe waiting until marriage to have sex is to you? Please share in the comment section.
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